NGE: Vengeance - Book 1: Pattern Red
by Weltall Elite
Summary: It's the aftermath of Third Impact. Shinji and Asuka find themselves having to survive in an empty world. But is it really empty or did someone have a backup plan? And will they be able to overcome their differences in order to survive? (reformatted)
1. Chapter 1: Analysis: Shinji Ikari

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Vengeance   
Book 1- Pattern Red 

  
Chapter 1 - Analysis: Shinji

_You kept everything inside __  
And even though I tried,   
It all fell apart   
What it meant to me   
Will eventually be a memory   
Of a time when   
I tried so hard   
And got so far   
But in the end   
It doesn't even matter_

--"In The End", Linkin Park

**POST-THIRD IMPACT...**

          On an unknown beach, much like any other beach on the dead planet, the waves of LCL, still warm with the souls of humanity, washed up against the shoreline. The air surrounding the ocean, by sharp contrast, was bitterly cold. 

          Not that it really mattered though. After all, there was no one there to complain about it. And the local flora and fauna didn't really hold much weight in what happened regarding the conditions of the land in which they lived. Instead of forcing the environment around them to change to suit their selfish purposes, they simply adjusted to their surroundings. And so, they would adjust to the cold or perish.

          Mankind had never been content living in such a manner. He destroyed the forests to build cities; he squandered the planet's natural resources; he polluted the oceans, land, and sky. Massive, powerful weapons were created for the sole purpose of destruction and death. All this destruction was caused by the one thing that set Man apart from all other forms of life: science. Granted, science had the potential for good, but it was often used for greed and power, all in the name of progress and the pursuit of knowledge for the betterment of Mankind. 

          But fate has an interesting sense of irony and it was this science for the "betterment of Mankind" that eventually caused its annihilation in the form of, first, the Second Impact, and ultimately, the Third Impact. Man had killed his own creator, and God had forsaken him for it. Man had now been reduced to nothing more than a primordial soup, to spend eternity in the ocean living as the lowest of life forms.

          ...Or he could have.

          The mother and co-creator of Man, Lilith, had, in the form of Rei Ayanami, seen the good that also existed in Man. He was petty, selfish, and capable of great evil. But, unlike any other life form, Man was capable of a great good. She had seen this good in the kindness of Shinji Ikari.

          And so, Man would be given another chance to live, should he so desire. Some humans had wanted to remain in Instrumentality, where they could live in the eternal peace of self-deception. They would exist without pain. But an existence without pain comes at a heavy price. For without experiencing pain, one cannot know real joy. It had taken Shinji Ikari his whole life, and the end of the world as he had known it to realize this; to understand that simply living for the joys that only life, and no form of Instrumentality, could offer were worth all the pain and suffering that may come with it. He would continue to hurt others and be hurt by others, all for the sake of living. This was the choice that Shinji Ikari made. Little did he know, however, just how much pain the world had in store for him...

**JAPAN: MAY 6, 2016...**

          Miles from Tokyo-3, just off a beach that was once a proud, populated city, was where it all began. Shinji Ikari had just returned from the sea of LCL and regained human form. He had appeared close enough to land that his feet could touch bottom. This was fortunate for him considering he couldn't swim. He slowly made his way back to land.

          Going directly from a puddle of liquid spread out amongst the entire ocean to a solid human form has a way of leaving one's mind a little muddled. He had only waded a few feet when he came across none other than Asuka Langley Sohryu floating face down unconscious in the ocean. Without a second thought, he grabbed a hold of her from behind and began to drag her to the beach with him. She coughed and sputtered as her head came out of the water, but she remained asleep. In his foggy state of mind, he hadn't considered the tension and frustration that had built up between the two of them. He also didn't realize just how great the implications of saving Asuka's life really were.

          Once reaching the beach, Shinji dragged Asuka up onto the sand and laid her down. With his mind as cloudy as it was, he hadn't even thought to check if she was breathing. Fortunately for the two of them, it just so happened that she was. 

          The only thoughts that were relatively clear in his mind were the final moments of Third Impact. And with that, using scraps of broken wood that seemed to line this desolate beach, he constructed a makeshift grave and nailed Misato's cross to it, using a flat plank of wood.

          The task had consumed the rest of his near-depleted strength. Too tired to think of anything else, he laid down next to Asuka on the sand of this new world and fell asleep, completely unaware of what tomorrow would bring. The physical and emotional strain on the boy was just too much to deal with right now. It would probably hit him hard when the reality of his situation truly sank in, but at the moment, it was the farthest thing from his mind. He wasn't thinking about what he would do tomorrow. He wasn't concerned that it was freezing out and he was in wet clothes while Asuka was in a thin plug suit. The probability that hypothermia would set in and kill them in their sleep somehow didn't seem to matter anymore. With his fatigue, he just didn't care right then. But for Shinji Ikari and Asuka Sohryu, this was just the beginning...

**ELSEWHERE ON EARTH...**

          Deep underground in a well-secured bunker of one of the world's most powerful countries, a time-release air lock disengaged filling the air with steam. Using technology based on the knowledge of AT Fields and the Instrumentality Program, this device had been created to assure that, in the event of failure, one person would remain on Earth and forego the Third Impact. This person would remain in a cryogenic state for a matter of months. If all had gone according to plan, he would join the others in Instrumentality. If for some reason they had failed, he would be immediately released from his cryogenic sleep and had explicit instructions to set the backup plan in motion.

          Once the steel reinforced door to the contraption had opened, out stepped a young man, about 15 years of age. If he was here now, he knew something had gone wrong. Silently and without bothering to put on any clothes, he moved to a nearby computer terminal with flashing red lights on the monitor. He had precious little time to get everything in order for the backup plan.

          But before he could do that, he had to find out just what had gone wrong. He flicked a few switches, pressed a few buttons, and hit a few more keys, and he began the data analysis of all that had occurred. Sure enough, the ocean was flooded with the souls of humanity, the Egg of Lilith was no longer in existence, and there was at least one person other than himself who had returned to human form. Decades of work, money, and sacrifice had gone into assuring the original plan had worked. All of that was ruined now, and he had to learn why in order to deal with the problem and assure that it wouldn't occur again in the future. The facility was self-sufficient and the back up plan was primarily automated due to the failsafe programs installed in the supercomputer. But there was still a lot of legwork that he had to do. Aside from probably years of several pain-staking procedures that now had to be endured to get them back on track, he was to find the original problem and rectify it by _any means necessary._

**JAPAN...**

It had been a bad day. A _really bad day. For starters, Shinji Ikari had already been in the center of the Third Impact. And considering that for the past several hours he hadn't seen the remotest sign of human life, with the exception of Asuka sitting several feet away from him, he could only assume that he had somehow blown it. Big time. The fact that the ocean was now blood red with the LCL of billions of people only confirmed this. He looked up towards the night sky to see a red streak stretched across it. When Lilith had released Shinji from his bond with her, her neck split open spraying her blood into the heavens.  He figured that the blood that had sprayed too far away from the earth to be pulled in by its gravity had settled there instead of falling into the sea like all the LCL of human souls that were released from the Egg of Lilith. Now, not only was mankind not returned with him, they weren't even reunited with Lilith; they were swimming with the fishes in the sea of this now God-forsaken planet. Yes, somehow, he'd screwed up big time. And the end of mankind as they knew it, was just the tip of the iceberg._

He and Asuka had been sitting against this rock face on the beach they had woken up on for hours. Neither had said a word since the "incident" that had taken place shortly after they had awoken. Both shivered uncontrollably, not entirely due to the freezing weather, with their knees tucked up to their chests. Yet neither took any initiative to move closer together or start a fire.

**THREE HOURS AGO...**

After the end of the attempt at Human Instrumentality, the Third Impact, Shinji rose from the sea of LCL and found himself on this desolate beach alone with Asuka after dragging her to shore. By all rights, the girl should have been dead. He'd heard her every scream and cry of pain as the Mass Production Evas of SEELE had ripped Unit 02 to pieces. He'd seen her once proud Evangelion reduced to nothing more than a mass of shredded metal and gore. Yet, here she was, alive and in one piece. Granted, she had bandages wrapped over her left eye and right arm, but she was, nevertheless, alive. 

A sudden anger stirred within him. There was no one else around. Were they the _only survivors? Was he to live out the rest of his existence alone with __her?! Ayanami had placed the fate of mankind in his hands. He had chosen not to accept Instrumentality. He decided despite the pain of being hurt by others, he and mankind would live on….but when he made that decision, this wasn't what he had in mind…_

She'd made his life miserable at every possible opportunity! No matter what he did, it was never good enough for her! When he tried to be kind to her, she would make him regret it every time. When he had poured his heart out to her, she threw it back in his face… He had all but told her that he loved her, and she called him a liar and flat-out rejected him…the bitch… Who the hell did she think she was?! So he wasn't perfect! Big deal! She wasn't exactly a picnic herself! She had no right! She had made his life a living hell! And here she was! The only other human being on the face of the earth! Wearing bandages exactly like those that he had seen Rei in when he first met her! 

In reality, it was probably just a coincidence. But in his mind, the bandages were all part of a cruel joke played on him by Rei, who had merged with Lilith and was now the "mother" of all mankind. He saw Rei's image floating on the water behind Asuka. It was as if Rei had "gift wrapped" the very person who had caused him the most suffering in those bandages so that he could forever be tormented by her! Why?! What had he ever done to her to deserve this?! Was this his "reward" for choosing life?! For someone who rarely showed any emotion, the First Child had a sick sense of humor!

He became furious! He sat himself up and straddled Asuka's waist. He placed his hands around her throat and began to squeeze for all he was worth, pressing his thumbs into the front of her neck to assure her air supply was cut off.  He'd show Ayanami what he thought of her "gift"! He'd make sure this damn bitch _stayed dead this time! Asuka, Rei, and everyone else could just go to Hell for putting him in this position! He could feel the life in her body fading away, this time for good…_

Suddenly…he felt something warm and soft touch his cheek, a sharp contrast to the bitter cold air… He froze instantly. He saw her hand had reached up to caress his face. It started at the top of his head, in his hair. Then slowly and gently slid down past his ear, her thumb brushing lightly against the corner of his mouth, towards the bottom of his jaw, leaving a trail of warmth on his face.

It hit him. It hit him all at once. With just the simple touch of her hand, reality was pounded back into his mind like a sledgehammer. What the hell was he _doing? He was choking the life out of the girl that he had thought he was in love with and a short while ago had wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And for what? Because she had turned him down? Had he completely lost his mind?! Here he was, seconds away from murdering an innocent girl for __rejecting him! What kind of monster was he? Coupled with the fact that, as far as he was concerned, he'd destroyed the rest of mankind, and had been the cause of the deaths of Misato and Kaworu, it was more than his nerves could handle. He began to cry. He'd picked one hell of a time to regain the joys of sanity…_

His grasp on her throat slackened and the color returned to her face as the blood and air was able to circulate to and from her head. Her hand finally slid off his face and back to her side. As he wept and the tears spilled onto her face, she never moved. Just laid there staring off into the sky as if in a trance.  After a moment, she shifted her eyes to the crying boy that was straddling her waist. Finally, she found her voice to whisper something. 

"I feel sick." 

But nothing more would be said for several hours…

After Shinji had calmed down and Asuka had gained her bearings, they eventually managed to stand and make it over towards the rock. Asuka didn't look like she was in any condition to be walking around due to the obvious pain she was in from her injuries, but Shinji decided it'd be best for him not to touch her. He was too disgusted with himself to go near her or even talk to her. After all he'd done to the girl, he wouldn't be surprised if she tried to kill him for so much as looking at her. Still, she managed to make it to the rock to sit herself up. Shinji sat down and leaned against the rock several feet away from her, afraid to get too close.

Shinji shyly chanced a peek in Asuka's direction for a moment. She was shivering even worse than he was. Of course, considering she was wearing only her thin plug suit, whose life support system batteries didn't seem to be functioning, it was no real surprise to him. He briefly wondered what was making it so cold as after the Second Impact the climate in Japan had been summer all year round. He quickly pushed that out of his mind since he had more important things to worry about at moment.

He sighed and looked away from Asuka. What else could he do? He couldn't just go over there and offer her his overshirt, she'd never accept that….not from him. He _certainly couldn't sit by her and try to warm her with his own body heat. No…even if she DIDN'T kill him on the spot for it, he had deemed himself too much of a "filthy monster" to even touch her._

Instead, he clenched his fists as he pulled his knees closer, as he mentally scolded himself. What had he been thinking? He was deceptive, selfish, a wimp, and a coward. She had been fighting SEELE's Eva's nine to one while he sat on his ass and listened to her get slaughtered, feeling sorry for himself. He'd.….God.…..He'd violated her! As far as he was concerned, he was no better than a rapist. "What have I done…?" he whispered as he drew even further into himself.

Why should she have accepted him? It would have been foolish to trust him at that point. In truth, he'd only approached her during the Third Impact out of desperation, because he didn't want to be alone. That wasn't love. At present, he was unsure as to exactly what his feelings for Asuka were, but he'd have to sort that out later.

Besides, after all she had gone through, this was the last thing she needed to deal with. To throw himself at her like that had been inconsiderate and insensitive. 

…And then he strangled her for it…

With the way he was feeling at this point, all he wanted to do was to sit against that rock until he froze and died, but as he looked at her again, though it was a little hard to see her clearly in the dim moonlight, he could tell that her shivering had increased and her lips had started to turn blue. He suddenly felt as if he had a responsibility toward this girl. He didn't know how he could redeem himself for the things he'd done to her, but letting her freeze to death in a plug suit because he wanted to feel sorry for himself wasn't a step in the right direction.

Despite himself, using what will power he could muster, he forced himself to stand and move towards the shivering girl. Every fiber of his mind's defenses told him to run away and save himself further anguish and humiliation, still he pressed on.

"A…Asuka…" he managed to say though he found his mouth was quite unwilling to speak. She didn't even look up at him.

"Sh-Shinji, j-just s-stay away from m-me!" she hissed though chattering teeth. Shinji wasn't too surprised at this response, but it still stuck another knife in his resolve not to run away.

"Asuka, please! You're going to freeze to death!" he pleaded.

"W-what the hell do _you_ c-care!" she countered, her voice full of resentment and pain.

This wasn't going well. He opened his mouth to say something to convince her that he did indeed care, when he realized that she probably wouldn't believe anything he told her at this point. He was about to give up when an idea popped into his head.

Though Asuka's head was still resting on her knees and her eyes lowered to the ground so she couldn't see his face, she could still see his feet. So she was a little surprised to see that pair of feet dash off away from her. She wondered if he was ditching her and leaving her all alone…again.

These thoughts came to a halt, at least for now, as she heard him dragging something towards her. At this point, her curiosity beat out her bitterness and she finally raised her head to see what he was doing. She watched him with a curious expression as he dropped a large, dried out piece of driftwood a few feet in front of her. However, he didn't stop to notice the expression because as soon as he had dropped the wood, he took off to grab another one. He did this until he had built up a substantial pile of driftwood, cardboard, broken planks of wood, and sticks in front of the near-hypothermic redhead.

Shinji was breathing somewhat heavily as he kneeled down by the pile of driftwood, his breath visible in the cold air. He gathered a small pile of leaves and a balled up newspaper he'd found and set them on top one of the drier pieces of wood. He then found a long pointed stick in the pile and used it in attempt to start a fire boy scout style. He'd never actually done this before, only seen Kensuke do it a time or two, so he hoped he was doing it right.

By this point Asuka had figured out what he was trying to do and was watching him carefully. Though she wasn't about to tell him, she was secretly hoping he would succeed. It wasn't like she actually _enjoyed being cold, after all. _

She watched him as he worked the stick between his hands with a determined look on his face that she seldom saw outside of Eva. He continued to work it for about 15 minutes and both were beginning to have their doubts. Shinji's arms were beginning to get tired, his hands were beginning to chafe from the friction of repeatedly rubbing against the stick, not to mention that the cold was beginning to really get to him, and he was about ready to give up when saw gray smoke starting to come from the pile of leaves and newspaper.

Even Asuka, who was trying her best to look like she had no interest in what he was doing, allowed herself to blink in surprise. Shinji's enthusiasm was renewed and he started to rub the stick between his hands into the wood faster and harder than before. Both their eyes went wide as they heard a crackling sound coming from the pile. 

Shinji couldn't contain his excitement. "Yeah!!" he yelled as he saw a flame begin to flicker in the leaves. It quickly spread throughout the leaves and paper starting a fire.

Asuka felt a smile threatening to spread to her lips despite the fact that she physically and emotionally felt like shit. She quickly suppressed that smile and wiped her face back to its original blank expression before Shinji could notice.

Shinji carefully lifted the piece of wood the pile of leaves were set on and moved it to the bottom of the pile of wood so the flames could run up and the rest of the pile could catch fire. Within a few short minutes, they had a good-sized fire going. Shinji placed his hands over it so they could thaw out.

Shinji, under the circumstances was in a great mood and turned to face Asuka. "Asuka! We've got a fire!" he shouted, not bothering to hide his joy.

Asuka's response was less than enthused however.  "Hooray…The _Invincible Shinji saves us again…" She said in an annoyed tone, the sarcasm dripping in her voice at the mention of the __"Invincible Shinji". She moved her head back between her knees. This knocked Shinji out of his good mood and put him back into a state of depression. In his enthusiasm, he had forgotten that this one little act wasn't about to redeem him for all he'd done. He sat down by the fire wondering what his next move should be._

"Asuka," he said quietly, after a moment of silence "aren't you going to sit by the fire?" Asuka was still sitting several feet from the fire, not nearly close enough to ward off the cold that was in the air.

"I t-told you to leave m-me alone!" she snapped at him, quickly raising her head to face him with a fierce expression.

"But…you're going to catch hypothermia if you don't…" he said in a quiet, concerned tone.

"I'm j-just f-f-fine! I don't need you're help!" she practically screamed at him, her anger rising. As fate would have it, she picked that moment to sneeze, serving to upset her further as her own body was calling her bluff to Shinji.

Shinji was about to offer her a 'Bless you' but decided that it would likely result in her throwing him in the fire. Instead, he tried something else. He began to unbutton his over shirt and took it off, cringing slightly as the cold air assailed his back, which was now only covered by his thin, black undershirt.

Asuka suspected he was going to try to offer the shirt to her, and lashed out again, desperately clinging to her emotional defenses. "And I d-don't want your shirt either! I don't need your damn s-sympathy!" she shouted again through her chattering teeth. Shinji's response surprised her.

"I wasn't about to. I'm pretty warm from the fire, so I'm just taking off my shirt while I get some sleep", he stated matter-of-factly. Of course he was lying. He was still freezing his ass off, but he would survive. And that was more than he could say about Asuka at the moment. Shinji then shrugged his shoulders and started to lay down in an attempt to act cool and calm while he casually added "But you can use if you want, I guess." Shinji laid as still as possible and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep, hoping she would take the bait and either move towards the fire or take the shirt.

Asuka said nothing to Shinji after his last comment. She just sat still for the next half an hour watching him while he slept. As it got colder, she started to glance at the fire anxiously as she continued to shiver. She started to rock back and forth in indecision. Suddenly she sneezed again and her stubborn will cracked. Shinji wasn't worth dying over and if he hadn't been there, she would have built a fire on her own or found shelter anyway. Or at least that's what she told herself.

Slowly, she moved towards the fire, feeling its warmth immediately begin to force out the cold. As she sat next to the fire, she looked over at Shinji's over shirt on the ground. Hesitantly, she reached out for it. Finally, she just grabbed it and wrapped it around her shoulders. 

She clutched her knees to her chest as she rocked back and forth again staring into the fire. She could smell Shinji's scent in the shirt. His deodorant. A bit of salt from the beach and smoke from the fire. But under that, his own natural scent. Under the circumstances…he smelled nice… 

That line of thought survived about half a second before Asuka's defenses sounded the alarm, snapping her out of he thoughtful trance. "Stupid jerk…" she muttered under her breath just to make sure she'd put Shinji back at a safe distance. She rocked herself in silence, still clutching the shirt around her shoulders until she felt sufficiently thawed out and hand regained the feeling in her hands and face. Then she laid down on her side in the sand. It wasn't exactly cozy but it would be enough to keep her alive another day, and that was the important thing. She closed her eyes, and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

A smile crept across Shinji's face…


	2. Chapter 2: Analysis: Asuka Sohryu

Chapter 2 - Analysis: Asuka

_You let me violate you. _

_You let me desecrate you.  
You let me penetrate you. _

_You let me complicate you.  
  
_

_(Help me.)_

_I broke apart my insides. _

_(Help me.) _

_I've got no soul to sell.  
(Help me.) _

_The only thing that works for me._

_Help me get away from myself._

_You get me closer to God._

--"Closer", Nine Inch Nails

**JAPAN: MAY 7, 2016…**

          When morning came, the fire had burned down to glowing embers. Fortunately for the two former Eva pilots, the air had warmed up substantially with the morning sun. Still chilly for post-Second Impact Japan, which was supposed to be summer year-round, but warm enough not to freeze.

          Asuka had been the first to wake up. She was thankful for this, as it gave her time to put Shinji's shirt back where she had found it and scoot away from the fire before Shinji could wake up and find out she had actually taken advantage of his kindness. Little did she know he had been awake the whole time she was debating whether or not to warm herself with his shirt and the fire last night.

          She struggled to stand, and with a few grunts and groans of pain she made it to her feet. She knew that her injuries were only in her mind, but it would take some time for her body to be fully convinced that her entire body hadn't been picked apart like a dead rabbit by flock of hungry vultures, and having to sleep on the hard sand hadn't helped any. 

          She moved back towards the rock she had sat against most of last night. The pain that shot through her as she limped was almost intense enough to make her nauseous and with a gasp of shock at a sharp pain in her abdomen she sat down and leaned back against the rock.  

Asuka stared out at the sea of LCL. She shuddered slightly as she saw the petrified remains of the MP Evas. The Second Child wasn't sure if she believed there was a God watching over them, but because of those abominations she had no doubt about the existence of demons. She wanted to leave here as soon as possible, but she would have to wait for Shinji to wake up.

          Shinji. To say that her feelings for him were complex would be a serious understatement. There were emotions that even she herself couldn't understand. It had been frustrating at first, but had soon turned to fear. And then, part of her had even begun to hate him. He had threatened her very way of life and ultimately, destroyed it. Yet, she remembered wanting attention, and maybe even affection or admiration from him. These conflicting emotions over the shy, soft-spoken boy pissed her off to no end. 

However, she couldn't explain these sensations. She knew she couldn't actually _like_ _him. Certainly not some wimpy guy who was only nice to her when it suited his purposes. But still..._

          "No!" she shouted out loud. She reminded herself that he was only using her because he was desperate and had no one else to turn to. He didn't really care about her. He was just afraid of being alone. 

          But then again...so was she... 

          And no matter how hard she tried to fight it, she had to admit that there had been something about Shinji that drew her to him. Of course, she hadn't really tried to fight it all that hard until she realized it was becoming a threat. But by then it had been too late. When and how it happened, she wasn't really sure, but under the circumstances, it didn't seem to matter anymore.

          It wasn't fair. She had really, REALLY tried to fight it. She didn't want to need or want him. She didn't want to depend on him. But the stupid jerk just couldn't take a hint. No matter what she did to him to make his life miserable or how hard she tried to push him away, he just wouldn't let up! He had no right to toy with her emotions like he had! Everyone else quickly learned to hate her. Why couldn't he? Just how stupid was he anyway? 

          The idiot was like one of those stupid punching bag clowns with sand on the bottom. Every time she'd knock him down, he'd come right back. A block of ice, as hard as it is, will break if something hits it hard enough. If hit correctly, a six-inch thick block of solid ice will shatter into a million pieces. But not that damn clown. You'd barely touch it, and it would flop right down to the floor every time...but it just never stayed down...

          Asuka had tried to be that block of ice; always strong and unyielding. And she _had started out strong. But after time, she had just been chipped away at too much and had been left melting too long. The wall of ice around her heart had slowly become more and more brittle and had finally been shattered by the fifteenth Angel._

          She hadn't had a family to care about her for nearly 10 years. She didn't have Eva in her life. She no longer had a purpose for living. However, she still wouldn't allow herself to open up to him. She was like a dying animal lashing out against an attacker in a futile effort to stay alive.

          But she had still caressed his face. Looking back, she couldn't understand what had possessed her to open herself up to him that much. Ayanami had placed the fate of mankind in his hands. He could have left them all to die and died himself and they all would have been at peace. Reunited with his family and all the souls of humanity completing one another. Yet, knowing full well that he would be hurt again, he had chosen life. Perhaps that had had something to do with it.

          Maybe she wasn't thinking clearly after her recent resurrection. Maybe her mind was foggy due to the lack of air reaching it at that moment. But for the briefest of moments...she believed in him. And maybe, just maybe, she could open up her heart to him and not worry about being hurt again. But that only lasted for a moment...

_          'I feel sick...'_

          She did feel sick. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Because whatever high she had been on had passed when she saw him break down and start crying like a child. The reality of the situation came crashing down on her and she started to have serious doubts as to whether or not her momentary faith had been misplaced. He hadn't changed at all. For all his big talk during Third Impact, he wouldn't back it up. The same old spineless Shinji. She was disgusted with herself for allowing him to see that "weakness" in her. It would be just one more thing to use against her. As if he hadn't done enough to her already.

          Even if she HAD been interested in him for a while, that didn't change the fact that she hated him. He had taken everything that had ever meant anything to her! He had stolen her identity by surpassing her as a pilot and leaving her as yesterday's news. And when she was broken and beaten, THAT'S when he had decided to leave her be. To leave her to have her mind violated by an Angel! The prince would rush in on his steed to save his precious Wonder Girl, but she was too useless to bother with... He had only come back to her to violate her while she was in a coma. 

          Asuka was starting to get herself worked up. A scowl crossed her face. He actually had the nerve to pull all that bullshit even last night! Acting like he actually gave a damn about what happened to her!  That bastard! If he really cared so much, why the hell had he tried to strangle her just a few hours earlier!? If he really wanted to be there for her like he said, where had he been when she was outnumbered nine to one against those freakish Evas or against the 15th Angel when it was defiling her mind? 

          And yet...part of her, buried somewhere deep in a place Asuka had hoped to leave buried forever, felt that she had, in some way, deserved the things he had done to her. Yes, guilt was finally catching up to Asuka Langley Sohryu. Guilt for all the people she had mistreated in her life. She had reasoned with herself that the only way to be safe was to hurt others before they could hurt you. For years this had worked just fine. But now...she couldn't ignore the fact that it was nagging at the back of her soul, like a demon from the past that had come back to haunt her.

          Perhaps had she died at Shinji's hands, it would have been her redemption. But that chance had passed. Besides, knowing that idiot, he'd probably mope around for the rest of eternity in guilt. She found some grim satisfaction in that. She had to. It was the only way she could justify being alive right now.

A part of her screamed to get as far away from Shinji as possible. To leave him while he was sleeping and never look back, because deep down, though she had lost everything, she knew he could still hurt her if she let him. 

          But she stayed. Something she couldn't quite understand held her back.

          Of course she couldn't tell him any of this. Not now anyway. There were so many issues that she needed to work out, but that could wait. 

          Shinji slowly began to stir, knocking Asuka out of her thoughts. She turned her attention to the ocean, ignoring him. Shinji sat up and noticed that it was substantially warmer now. He then turned his attention to Asuka as the uncomfortable silence between them continued.

          Shinji was the first to speak up. "Well, uh…Good morning, Asuka!" He said trying his best to sound cheerful and forcing a nervous smile. No response. "So…um…sleep well?" he tried again. Finally, she spoke.

          "Grab your shirt. Let's go find something to eat. I'm starving."

          She seemed so distant as she spoke. Shinji felt like he was being talked _at rather than __to, but it was better than being completely ignored. "Uh…Sure." He quickly grabbed his shirt, choosing not to say anything. He _knew_ she had worn it but decided it was in both their best interests to let it go. He got up and as he was about to follow her, Misato's cross caught his eye. He hesitated for a moment and then glanced in Asuka's direction. After a few seconds, he pried the nail from the cross, slipped the memento in his pocket, and quickly followed Asuka, who was already limping away._

**FOUR HOURS LATER…**

          Unfortunately, Asuka's hunger would have to wait. The first buildings they came across proved to be a three-hour walk away. The trip was made longer by Asuka who had to frequently stop and rest due to her injuries. The fact that she was too weak to make the whole trip on her own frustrated her greatly, but her body simply wouldn't allow her to continue. Shinji never bothered to help her, though he had wanted to. And Asuka never asked for help or even asked him to stop. In fact, the whole trip was made in silence.

They finally came across some small housing developments that had fared well during the JSSDF's assault. This probably meant that they were a ways away from Tokyo-3. Still, they decided this would be a good place to find some food.

          Shinji tested the knob on the first door he came to. "It's locked," he said, looking over his shoulder towards Asuka. When he caught sight of her, he saw her picking up a large rock. Shinji's eyes widened at the sight of it; he cringed as she was about to throw it, preparing for the worst.

_SMASH!_

          She hurled the rock through the window, stuck her hand in through the now empty frame, and unlocked the door. She looked over at him with a slight, smug grin on her face. "Come on! It's not like there's anyone actually living here anymore," she said as she saw the astonished look on his face.

          It was slightly unsettling for Shinji that it would take destroying the property of others to have her finally showing some signs of life, but if it would snap her out of her funk, he'd let her smash every window in Japan. The smile on her face was short-lived, but that was to be expected. He followed her inside where they searched the house for a source of nourishment.

          "You know, Asuka, we could have checked some of the other houses instead of breaking the first window we came to," he said as they searched through the abandoned apartment.

          "So stealing from the houses is okay as long we don't break anything?" she queried in a, once again, rather distant tone of voice as she opened the refrigerator door.

"Well...uh..." He was stumped there. "I...suppose you have a point," he admitted.

          Again she didn't respond to him. She just started pulling things out of the refrigerator. 

Shinji again tried to make conversation with the despondent redhead. "Say...um...since there seems to be no power, I guess you might as well enjoy what's in the refrigerator since it's all probably going to go bad pretty soon anyway." His attempts at small talk weren't working at all for him. She just took a swig from the milk carton she'd found. He couldn't even get her to so much as look at him.

Shinji sighed and his head lowered as he decided to give up for now. "I'm going to look around to see if there's anything we can use for traveling. I'm not sure where you're planning on going, but you'll probably need some supplies." Knowing he wouldn't get an answer yet again, he just turned and left to search other areas of the neighborhood.

As he exited the door Asuka lowered the milk carton and watched the door close behind him. After a moment she sighed and shook her head. "This isn't going to work forever. It'll have to end eventually."

**LATER…**

          Over the next several hours, Shinji searched many of the buildings in the immediate area. He used Asuka's "special technique" to gain access to the locked apartments. He found several small piles of clothing throughout many of the apartments and a few outside. Knowing that they were where each person had last stood before dissolving into LCL, he shuddered at the sight and avoided going near them as much as possible. He managed to procure a large backpack and filled it with enough dried goods and other necessities to last them a week or so. He decided they wouldn't be able t carry more than that anyway. And in Asuka's weakened condition, he wasn't sure she'd be able to travel for a while anyway.

During that time, Asuka had carried out a search of her own. Like Shinji, she had noticed the piles of clothing. They made her quite uncomfortable, so she tried not to look at them. She was rather sore and getting a bit tired due to her injuries but she had managed to find a few sets of clothing and undergarments in her size. After weighing her options, she decided that traveling in a skirt wouldn't be the best idea, and considering how the temperature had mysteriously dropped last night, she figured shorts might not be a good idea either. Eventually she decided on a pair of blue jeans that fit her snugly, and a simple yellow sleeveless blouse. She carefully undid the bandages on her arm and winced every so often as she put her injured arm in an uncomfortable position. After that, getting undressed from her plug suit was even more difficult since it required a bit more movement. She was glad to finally get out of that plug suit, which had become stiff and uncomfortable once the internal batteries had run out. Using some fresh bandages she found in one of the apartments, she wrapped her arm up again to keep it somewhat immobile, and put on the clothes she picked out. She packed away a sweater for when it got cold and an extra set of clothes in a small sack she'd found. She knew she couldn't be picky about when she got to change her clothes or even take a shower with things being as they were, but she decided to be prepared. Some deodorant, toothpaste, and toilet paper and she was pretty sure she'd be alright for at least a week or two provided Shinji had found something large enough to pack food in. 

She then decided to turn her attention to the bandage on her eye. Using her good arm, she slowly unwrapped her bandaged head. As the final piece of the bandage was removed, the wadding over her eye fell away. The light flooding in the room from the drawn curtain was painful to her damaged retina even with her eyes shut. But after a few minutes she was able to adjust. Her eye, as well as the rest of her body, was still hurting, but since her wounds weren't physical, she would just bear it and carry on.

A quick check of her supplies and clothes and she was ready for if and when they decided to leave. Now there was just one more thing left weighing on her mind...

**APARTMENT 5A…**

          When Shinji returned to the apartment where he had left Asuka, he found that she wasn't there. Fortunately, looking in the opposite direction from which he had just come, he only had to follow the trail of broken glass left in her wake to catch up with her.

          When he found her, she looked over at him and for a moment their gazes caught one another. This was quickly broken up by Asuka returning to her bag and pretending she was actually doing something. Shinji could only turn his gaze to the ground. Another awkward silence fell upon the room. Both had something important to say, but neither knew exactly how to say it.

          They had to start talking. They needed to figure out what was going to happen from here. He was afraid to ask her anything because he knew she would probably just ignore him, but this had to end. Whatever she decided, he would accept it, but he had to know where he stood with her. He started clenching his fist spasmodically. Before any plans could be made, the tension in the air had to let up a little. She probably had a million good reasons to hate him; he could understand that. But he needed to hear it from her. It was the only way he'd be able to walk away from here, with or without her, and still be able to live with himself.

          He took a deep breath, summoning whatever resolve he could muster. This was it... "Asuka..." He hesitated for a moment as his voice almost caught in his throat. "...We need to talk." She continued to sift through her bag as if he wasn't even there. 

          He didn't know it, but her heart had picked up its pace as he said those words in that tone. She had been avoiding this for most of the day. Ever since last night she had tried to steer around this confrontation, but every utterance from him brought the words closer to her lips. Because of that she decided not to speak at all for fear that something might slip that she'd regret. But there was no avoiding it and there would be no turning back. It had to be done, and it had come to a head. She knew it would eventually come to this if they were to survive in this strange, new world. She just never expected it to be this soon.

          "Asuka...Listen...I know you don't want to talk to me...and I can't blame you for that after all that's happened," he persisted in a calm but firm tone of voice. "But I need to know right now if we're going to stick together or go our separate ways from here. We have to decide where we go from here." To Shinji's credit, he did a good job of keeping his voice and body from trembling and keeping his breathing calm. His heart was fluttering. Every instinct in him told him to run away from this girl and never look back, but he knew through experience that if he ran away now, she would haunt his soul for the rest of his life regardless of whether or not he ever saw her again. "If you have something you need to tell me so that we can get on with our lives...then you have to tell me now." He paused for a moment and took another deep breath. "Ignoring me won't do either of us any good."

          Asuka stopped sifting through her bag and stayed very still for several seconds. Shinji couldn't see her eyes from his standing position as she was still kneeling on the ground by her bag. They appeared to be hidden by her hair as it cast a shadow over them. "You don't like being ignored, Shinji?" she said in a dark, grim voice that sent a chill through Shinji's spine. She continued as she slowly got up and turned towards him, her eyes still hidden from view. "Would you rather I told you how much I HATE you? How you make my life _miserable and I wish you'd just go to Hell!?" Her voice was starting to rise, and Shinji knew that this was just the beginning. But suddenly her voice got quiet again. "Well...now you know how it feels..."_

          Shinji had been expecting one of a million things, but this wasn't on the list. So he was more than a little puzzled as to what Asuka was getting at. "Asuka?" he whispered quietly. But she just continued on as if he hadn't said anything. She began to slowly stalk towards him, causing him to start moving backwards to keep some space between himself and the rather frightening Asuka.

          "Tell me something, Shinji. Where were you when SEELE's Evas were picking me to pieces? Or how about when the fifteenth started _raping my mind? Why didn't you decide to show the world how GREAT you are __then?" she asked in a low yet sarcastic tone._

          "I..." Shinji struggled to find an answer for her as he was still trying to grasp what she was getting at. Surely, Asuka Langley Sohryu wasn't hurt because she thought he'd abandoned her...was she? He never got a chance to finish a sentence before she cut him off again, pouring it on thickly as she still hadn't met his shocked stare. 

          "I'll tell you why you didn't come! It's because my life wasn't worthy of the attention of the Invincible Shinji once I wasn't of any use to anyone, but you came running in a heartbeat to the rescue of..." Asuka, despite her fury, managed to catch herself before she said something she'd _really regret. Finally Asuka raised her head to glare at him. Her eyes had tears forming in them, but there was a fire in them that, to Shinji, felt like it was trying to burn a hole right through him. _

Shinji felt his back hit something, and to his horror, he realized that he'd been cornered against the wall. Asuka closed the distance between them and got right up in his face. Shinji attempted to save himself by pleading, "Asuka, wait! Please, listen. That's not the way it..." 

"Shut up!" she cut him off yet again. She then fell silent and backed away from him. 

          "Where is everyone, Shinji?" she asked in a sad voice that was barely above a whisper.

          "I don't know," he answered in a similar tone. He was scared, hurt, and incredibly confused by all that was going on. He was just playing it by ear, hoping she'd give up soon. What would happen after that, he had no idea.

          Her quiet tone didn't last long unfortunately, as her voice once again rose to a shout. "Don't give me that! I was there too, you know! YOU were the one who decided what happened to everyone! So why are we the only one's here!? Were you so afraid of everyone that you had them all killed!?" She continued to scream at the poor helpless boy as she made him pay for his every sin. Her voice started to sound more and more choked up as she pressed on. She had to say this, and she had to know why he'd done all that he had. Unfortunately for him, in her clouded overly-emotional state, she'd chew him out first and _then get her answers._

          "What!?" he asked in a mixture of shock and horror at the accusation.

          "Was that it?! So no one could hurt you, you killed everyone, you coward?!"

          "No!"

          "Of course, I'm not even significant enough to hurt you, am I? Did you bring me back here so you would be able to mock me for the rest of my life?!"

          He shook his head. "No!"

          "Or maybe you brought me here so you could kill me yourself like you tried to do on the beach!"

          He put his hands on his face and shook his head furiously as if her words were digging into his skull and he was trying to force them out. "Asuka, stop it, please!"

          Both of them had tears threatening to fall at this point. Before Asuka could break down into sobs in front of him, she turned and ran out of the apartment. Shinji's face was still buried in his hands as he slid against the wall down to the floor, where he sat and broke down into sobs of his own...

**APARTMENT ROOFTOP…**

          Despite her pain, Asuka slowly made her way to the roof of the complex. With tears in her eyes, she sat down, leaned against a brick chimney chute, and cried.

          She had wanted to eventually confront him, but not like this. She wanted him to know she was angry, but didn't want to have that much of a show of emotion. She didn't want to show that she was hurting. But it _did hurt. And now he knew. If she ever spoke to him again, she made a mental note to tell him that some of what she had said was a result of stress. Frankly, that wasn't too far from the truth._

          Shinji had been rather outgoing since Third Impact. But she knew how outgoing Shinji could be when he was desperate. That was the only reason he had been watching out for her.

          Even yesterday when he built that fire. He acted like he didn't care, but she wasn't dumb enough to fall for that bullshit. She had to admire his generosity, but it certainly wasn't for her sake. By keeping her alive, he was dealing with his own guilt. She had a good mind to let him suffer with his guilt. He deserved it. After all, he was just using her.

          But she was using him too.

          If she had her way, she'd leave Shinji and never set eyes on him again. It just hurt too much. But where would she go? There was nowhere left to go. She was either with Shinji or she was alone.

_"We have to decide where we go from here."_

She knew he was right. This would probably be one of the most important decisions of her life and she didn't want to rush it. But something had to happen, and if she wanted a say in it, she'd have to speak up now. She knew that any initiative Shinji had would only hold up for so long before he gave up and reverted back to manic-depressive Shinji. Her choice had to be made now.

It was time they had a talk.

**MEANWHILE…**

          The night air was cold. Not as cold as the previous night, but cold enough to make Shinji shiver right down to the bone. He was sitting in an open field of grass outside of the apartments. 

          The cicadas were chirping in the night; much quieter than usual, probably due to the cold, but chirping nonetheless. It showed that this planet was still alive and well. But that sound made Shinji feel all the more dead inside. Every human being on the face of the Earth was now gone, and yet, the world carried on. Business as usual. No moment of silence. No mourning for the passing of humanity. It was as if the world didn't even care that all he had ever known had been wiped out in the course of one day. Maybe the cold weather was symbolic of the cold attitude the world had taken to the end of Man.

          Not that he could blame it, of course. For the way Man had treated the world he lived in, the Earth should be rejoicing at his extinction.

          Shinji looked down at the cross hanging from his neck and his thoughts were then turned to the woman who had given it to him. He gently clasped it in his hand as he stared at it. His eyes welled up with tears once again as he remembered his final moments with her. She had meant so much to him as a guardian. As a mother. As a teacher. And yet, he had never told her how he felt. He had acted cold and distant toward her. And because he had been too busy feeling sorry for himself, she had been shot dead. Now that the rest of the world had died, Misato's death should have felt just as horrible as any other, but it was more to him. It was _much_ more.

          Before, he could turn to her for advice whenever he didn't know which way to go, but now...he was lost. He knew that his chance to run away had passed. He had to act. But he didn't have a clue as to how. He turned his gaze to the starry sky, now blemished by the blood of Lilith...

          "Misato..." he whispered quietly as if she'd be able to hear him. A small, sad smile crossed his lips. "I guess you're with Kaji now. I hope you two can make it work out this time around." The smile fell from his face as he bit his lip. "Misato...are you still watching out for me?" 

Silence. 

"If you are...then I wanted to say...thank you. You were the only one who really made me feel like I was welcome. I guess you tried so hard to help me because you were trying to conquer your own demons through me and maybe you were lonely. I didn't understand that then, but I get it now. In a way, maybe you were using me for your own purposes. But it's okay!" He added that last part quickly, as if she could hear him and misunderstand what he was saying. "I suppose I used you too. I used everyone and when I was needed, I couldn't do anything..." Even if she couldn't hear him, Shinji was opening himself up and getting some things off his chest. As he spoke to the stars, clutching Misato's cross, this was his confession. 

          "Misato...I'm sorry. I can never make it up to you though, can I? I can't make it up to anyone anymore. Because, except for Asuka, you're all gone." Shinji sighed as his thoughts turned once again to Asuka. "I've done horrible things to her too. I can't stand all the guilt anymore. I can't remember why I wanted to come back. I just want it all to end now." Shinji paused again. "But I can't do that either. Because...if I go...what happens to Asuka? I can never make it up to her either, but if I run away now, then that makes me even worse. That's why I have to stay with her even if she hates me. But Misato, I don't know _how to help her." His voice once again began to tremble as it became more desperate in search of an answer. "How can I help her if she won't let me? What do I do now, Misato? ...Rei? ...Kaworu? ...Anyone!" Resigning to the notion that he wouldn't be getting his answers, he could only look down at the ground in defeat. "Please..." A lost soul seeking an impossible redemption._

          ...Or so he thought.

          "Do you always talk to yourself like this?"

          Shinji nearly jumped in the air as he heard Asuka's voice behind him. His heart caught in his throat as he turned around to face her. He didn't know what to say or do at the moment, but he was half expecting the worst from her. They stared at each other for a long moment. Asuka's eyes didn't have the same rage in them that they had before, but they weren't exactly inviting either. The tension that Shinji felt in the cold, night air was too thick for him to dare release his breath. She stared hard at him, not so much with resentment, but more like she was searching for something in him. When Shinji finally found his voice, all he could muster was a meek whisper.

"Asuka..."

**INSIDE, HALF AN HOUR LATER…**

          Shinji had once again built a fire. This time in the fireplace of one of the apartments. Neither of the teenagers had said a word since Asuka had first come down from the roof. It had begun to get cold, so she finally spoke up and asked Shinji to come inside and start another fire, saying that it was freezing outside. Desperate to break the awkwardness of the situation, Shinji willingly cooperated. It was a much simpler task this time around since he was easily able to locate lighter fluid and matches inside the apartment.

          Fire tends to have a distracting, yet calming effect on a person when they stare into it. Shinji and Asuka were almost entranced as they watched the flames flicker and dance. Their pain, their fears gone as if consumed by the tongues of fire. Their minds dwelt on their situation as if from afar, where they could never be hurt by it. But eventually the reality of the situation would catch up to them and they'd again have to face it. And each other. 

          "Listen, Shinji," Asuka began suddenly. Shinji looked up at her startled out of his daze. "I've been doing some thinking and maybe it's in our best interest to stick together for the time being," she said as if nothing had happened just an hour ago.

          Shinji could only stare and nod dumbly, unable to understand her complete mood change. He didn't want to bring up the subject and had decided to push it off to the side for the time being. He knew she must have been avoiding their earlier conflict for a reason, and decided not to pry.

          "Good. We need to decide where we're going and how we'll get there," she added.

          Shinji only nodded to her. Both turned back to the fire and stared at it again until a thought came to Shinji's mind.

          "Are you...hungry?" he asked meekly.

          Asuka really didn't want to rely on Shinji to do any favors for her, but she knew she'd have to. So she forced herself to swallow her pride and nodded.

The rest of the evening was spent in silence. Shinji cooked some meat over the fire and after eating their simple meal, they went to sleep in front of the fireplace without another word.

Continued…

A/N: It's been a little under a month since I posted the first chapter. I added some pre-readers and really did some tough revisions on this one. Considering how much pre-reading I've been doing these days, I'm amazed I got this done in time. I'm too old to be pulling these all-nighters. ^_^;; I only hope I can meet my deadline next month too.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter because it wasn't easy to do, but it does feel good to have accomplished it. I wanted to cut down on the rehashing and reviewing of the series and start progressing the plot. At the same time, I wanted to focus more on Asuka's character and show the perspective of the series I'm using for the purposes of this story. Now that I've done that with out two heroes, I plan to get the story on the fast track. We can start the drama, suspense, action, romance, murder, and mayhem. ^_^

As always, props to my brilliant team of pre-readers. This story would suck exceptionally if it weren't for them. You guys rule.

Red Horseman

Vicil 2000

JoeDoeBell

Rommel

Alnilam

Lord Malachite

Thanks again for reading. Please be kind and spend a moment to drop me a review, and let me know what you thought.


	3. Chapter 3 - Desires and Ambitions

Chapter 3 – Desires and Ambitions  
  
_Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying.   
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight,   
That's all right, all right with me.  
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside your door   
And listen to you breathing.  
_

- "Breathing" Lifehouse

**MAY 8, 2016****...**

High above the Earth a UN spy satellite, the ISS-6, equipped with AT Field tracking equipment, was focusing in on the nation of Japan. Its high-powered lenses zoomed in on a small abandoned one-story apartment complex...

******

"Satellite has reached target destination," chimed a computerized female voice in the spacious underground bunker.

"Good. Let's see if we can't find out who our mystery guests are," the young man said to himself, leaning forward in his large leather chair. While it may have been effortless for him to simply assassinate the two remaining humans in Japan, in order to correct the error that had halted Third Impact, he first had to find out what had gone wrong. He assumed the first step to this would be to identify the people who had remained and figure out what connection they had to the incident. 

Before him was a large display showing an overview of the nation of Japan. Near the southern coast a blinking red light flashed on the screen, marking the location of the target life forms. "Computer, zoom in on the Toyokawa area." Within seconds the image of the city appeared, with lines dividing the map into smaller boxes. "Computer, zoom section RT-105."

"Ah. Found you." His face cracked into a grin. The image was slightly distorted due to atmospheric interference, but he could see enough to decide that the building on the display was where they were staying. Outside of the structure, he could make out a figure that appeared to be human in form. The teenager then instructed the computer to home in on the figure and focus. Though the computer was able to filter out most of the interference, because of the overhead angle, details were difficult to make out.

"Let's see... Subject A is male...dark hair...small frame..." he spoke into a portable audio recording device, for future reference. "That pretty much narrows the list of possibilities to just about...every male in Japan!" He spat out the last part with more than a little frustration, as he set the recorder down. 

The man sighed and looked up at the screen again. "Where's the other one?" he queried, hoping he or she would offer more information. _'Well, whoever it is must still be inside. He has to come out eventually, and when he does, I'll get to the bottom of this,'_ he thought to himself. He didn't know how long he'd have to wait, but after all these years, he'd grown to be patient. He spun in his chair to face a smaller monitor showing a map of the Earth with red oceans. "It's just a matter of time..."

**TOYOKAWA****, ****JAPAN****... **

It was mid-afternoon and Shinji was cooking lunch. Asuka was sitting at a round wooden kitchen table idly staring at a map of Japan with her head propped up on her good arm.

"Hey, Asuka," asked Shinji, attempting to make conversation.

"What?" responded the once fiery redhead in a bored tone, not even looking up from the table.

"Why do you think it's so cold all of a sudden? I mean, it's been constantly warm in Japan since Second Impact." It was a question that had been nagging at him since washing up on the beach, and now was as good a time as any to talk about it. He knew Asuka wouldn't have the answers, but he was open to any ideas.

Asuka lifted her gaze from the map to look out the window. "I don't know." It was something she'd been wondering about too, and no explanation seemed to make any sense. "Best I can figure is that it probably has something to do with Third Impact," she added with a shrug of her shoulders. "In any case, we won't be getting any answers anytime soon, so I wouldn't dwell on it too much." With that she turned back to the map, letting the room grow quiet again.

Shinji and Asuka were hardly what could be called friends, but after coming to an understanding the night before, they were at least on speaking terms again. Asuka was willing to set aside her reservations about the boy for the sake of survival, and he had set aside his guilt for the time being.

After some searching around, they discovered they were some distance from Tokyo-3. According to the map they'd found, they were on the outskirts of Toyokawa, one of the many cities in Japan that had been destroyed following Second Impact. Like many cities, it had been left in ruin. The only places that had been populated in this desolate urban development were out-of-the-way locations, such as the apartment complex Shinji and Asuka were staying in. Most people had moved to the neighboring towns for convenience. However, some people would stubbornly commute to the next town for work rather than move from their homes.

"So Shinji. When we leave here, which way do you think we should head?" she asked, making small talk to alleviate her boredom.

"Well..." He stopped what he was doing and put down the tongs to focus on the question. "I've been giving this some thought and I was thinking that maybe we could head back to Tokyo-3?"

Asuka immediately sat up and looked at him incredulously. "What the hell for!? It's 200 kilometers away. There's at least a half a dozen towns closer than that!"

"Yeah, but..." Shinji began to fidget nervously. "I was kinda hoping to go home," he commented quietly, averting his eyes from her.

"Are you stupid? What's the point?" she questioned irately. "There's no one there to go home to anyway!"

He turned to face her. "I know that, but..." He bowed his head in embarrassment. "Asuka, it's the only place I've ever called 'home' and the only place I ever felt like I really _belonged_." He raised his head to look at her again with pleading eyes. "Even if there's no one there, that's my home."

Asuka glared into his sad puppy dog eyes with annoyance. "You're getting sentimental on me, Shinji." 

"But Asuka..." Shinji pleaded.

"But nothing!" she interrupted curtly, folding her arms. "It's dangerous out there. There are wild animals, frigid weather, and God knows what else. And that says nothing about a storm or running out of supplies. I'm not about to take that great a risk just because _you _feel homesick." The tone of her voice suggested that her decision was final.

Shinji felt dejected over her answer, but he knew she was right, so he couldn't argue the point with her. He had no right to put her in harm's way just so they could go back to an abandoned city.

The German girl picked up on her companion's melancholy attitude and felt a twinge of sympathy for him. Though she thought he was being an idiot, she knew it was important to him. She sighed and closed her eyes. "Besides, a home is made up of the people you care about, not just a slab of concrete. And when you look at it like that, home can be anywhere you make it," she added in a much softer tone. It felt rather awkward talking like that, to Shinji of all people. She briefly wondered if she'd gone soft. She propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands.

Shinji smiled. Somehow that statement reminded him of something his mother might have said. It brought him a bit of comfort. However, it also surprised him to hear such a statement from her and his curiosity was perked. "Well...what about you?" queried Shinji. 

Asuka's eyes popped open. "What _about_ me?" she asked suspiciously. 

"It's just that it sounds like you're talking from experience. Did you ever have a place you considered home? What about your time with Kaji, or at Misato's apartment?"

Asuka hadn't really thought of what 'home' meant to her. But the mention of Kaji and Misato brought back some painful memories. More importantly, the conversation seemed to be getting more and more personal, and that alone was making her feel quite uncomfortable. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. "That has nothing to do with it," she admonished. "Look, if you want to go back to your precious 'home' far be it from me to stand in your way. But when we freeze to death or get eaten by wolves, don't say I didn't warn you!"

Shinji realized that he'd hit a nerve and decided not to press the issue further. He also figured it'd be unwise to comment on the irony of her statement. "Umm, ok. Thanks," he whispered uneasily. 

"Whatever," she muttered and turned her attention back to the map before her. "So...when are we heading out?" she asked, thankful for the change of subject.

"I guess we should wait until your injuries heal."

Asuka scowled at him. "I'm fine. Don't go out of your way for my sake," she told him as bitterly as she could manage.

Shinji turned back to the fire and stared at the grilled meat trying to think of something to tell her. "Well, you know...the perishable foods here and everywhere else are only going to last so long. We might as well make the most of them while we still can."

Asuka just stood up and scoffed. "Hmph. Do whatever you want. I'm going to get something to drink from next door."

Shinji looked after her until she had walked out the front door and closed it behind her. He sighed and shook his head. Still, as hostile and unfriendly as she was acting towards him, at least she was talking to him. This was an improvement over the past two nights, despite being a headache as well. He briefly wondered what had caused this seemingly overnight change, but decided it best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

He cut off a small piece of meat to taste. "It could use some more pepper..."

**ELSEWHERE...**

"Subject B is female...fair complexion...red hair... Doesn't appear to be Asian in descent." A few hours of patience had paid off. He finally had the break he was looking for. There were practically no redheads in Japan, so he just had to...

"Redhead?" he questioned out loud as recollection dawned on him. He clicked off the recording device as he leaned toward the screen. "Computer, bring up the data file on the Children."

The satellite image on the display vanished, replaced with one of five names and a corresponding number to each. He was sure he'd remembered seeing a redheaded girl among the Children. "Computer, display the First Child's Profile."

"First Child: Ayanami, Rei." Sounded the computer's voice. An ID picture of Rei's face appeared with a list of personal information and records.

"No, not her. Computer, Second Child."

"Second Child: Sohryu, Asuka Langley." 

"And now, I've got you." He smiled wolfishly as he stared at the image of the Second Child. The fact that one of the Evangelion pilots was a redheaded female in Japan, and the there was now a girl with red hair in the same country involved with the failure of Third Impact was too great a coincidence. "And she's beautiful too," he noted. "Such a waste."

That could only mean her companion was one of the three remaining Children, and the young man well knew the personal profile of the Fifth Child, so that left the Third and Fourth Children.

The teenager brought up a photograph of the male survivor taken from the satellite in the corner of the screen. "The files say that the Fourth Child was missing a leg, and you evidently are _not_," he said to the image on the screen. "So would that make you the famous Third Child, Shinji Ikari?" His eyes narrowed. "It's an honor to finally meet the son of Gendo Ikari, the traitor," he uttered, his voice full of contempt.

**JAPAN****: ****MAY 14, 2016****...**

Shinji's brow was beaded with sweat made cold by the chilly air. His bated breath was visible as he exhaled. He wore layers of long-sleeved shirts since they couldn't find any winter coats; few people in Japan had needed to own one. Placing another piece of wood on his chopping block, he examined the blade of the axe he'd found a few days back. The sun gleamed off the sharp steel surface. He raised his axe high into the air, gripping it with one hand at the top of the handle, the other at the bottom. With a sharp exhale of air, he brought his hands together at the bottom of the handle, swinging the axe down on the wood, splitting it cleanly in half. Setting the two halves in the pile of split wood, he went back to the pile of uncut wood and repeated the cycle. In just a few short days Shinji had gotten quite good at chopping wood and with the weather constantly cold, they always needed to keep a hefty supply of firewood. His muscles burned, and his frozen hands ached and throbbed with each impact. 

Asuka sat at a table by the window and watched him. She had chosen this apartment because it was the only one they didn't have to smash any windows to get inside, and didn't have any piles of clothing on the floor marking where a person had last stood. She'd also taken down any picture frames with portraits of people in them. She found reminders of the previous residents to be unsettling.

She was wrapped in a blanket as she watched Shinji chopping away. It was almost all she did to pass the days when she wasn't locked up in one of the bedrooms or by the fire. It was always cold, and with no electricity, there was no way of heating the apartments with the exception of the small fireplaces.

She observed Shinji split through another piece of wood. Her injuries were nearly healed. She had taken off her bandages and the only reminder of her wounds was a slight stiffness in her muscles, yet she still did very little to help with day-to-day affairs. She knew he had been doing almost all the work: from cooking and cleaning to gathering supplies and firewood, but instead of feeling grateful, she felt only resentment. 

She huffed and got up from the window. It was about noon and Asuka was getting hungry. She was about to tell Shinji to start making lunch when an idea came to her mind.

Within a few minutes, Asuka had collected an assortment of ingredients and a cookbook she had found in the kitchen. Within the next hour, she began to wonder how Shinji managed do this three times a day without losing his mind. The recipe itself was a rather simple one, but it was quite an ordeal for the redhead due to her lack of kitchen skills, limited resources, and difficulty reading the kanji in the book.

"'Set...stove on...high,'" she struggled with the sentence. The temperamental redhead looked over her shoulder at the fireplace. She blinked a few times before turning back to the directions. "How the hell am I supposed to do _that _with a fireplace?!" she shouted at the defenseless cookbook.

Asuka wasn't one to be easily driven to tears, but the onion she was chopping proved to be too much for her willpower to withstand. "Ow!" she yelped as she cut her finger for the third time with the sharp blade of the knife. She instinctively sucked on her finger before quickly pulling it out and spitting the strong taste of onion into the sink. "Bleh! For this much trouble, this had better be one _really_ good soup," she muttered to no one in particular. 

She slowly tilted the container of paprika towards the measuring spoon, being careful so as not to spill it. "Easy... Easy does it..." she whispered. Unfortunately, the powder was packed tightly and wouldn't pour. She tapped the bottle once. No effect. She tapped again, a little harder. Again nothing came out. "Oh, c'mon, already!" yelled the aggravated girl. Frustrated, Asuka shook the container, dumping the contents over the spoon, her hand and the counter. She stared at the mess for a moment before bowing her head and groaning in agitation.

By the time she had finished the preparations, Asuka's hair was frazzled and her eyes were red and puffy. She had nicked her left hand about half a dozen times, stained her outfit in several places, demonstrated her extensive and colorful vocabulary in the form of profanity in three different languages, and sworn off the notion of ever becoming a chef regardless of whether or not people ever came back. 

Asuka lifted the heavy pot off the counter and carried it to the fire. She struggled under its weight, some of the contents spilling over the side and onto the floor. Setting it over a makeshift grill they had set up in the fireplace, she sighed in relief, confident the hard part was over. She left the food to cook while she tended to her injuries in the bathroom.

******

An hour later Asuka was sitting in front of the fireplace, her hands bandaged up. She had been waiting for the food to finish cooking. She had dozed off during that time and after her peaceful afternoon nap she slowly stirred to consciousness. As she groggily surveyed her surroundings, any remnants of sleep were blasted from her mind as she saw the pot of stew boiling and bubbling over the sides. 

"Mein gott!" She immediately leapt up from the living room couch in a panic and grabbed a potholder from the kitchen. She struggled to carry the pot back to the kitchen, and like before, its contents were sloshing over the rim, but this time it was boiling hot. Some of the liquid splashed against Asuka's exposed leg. She gasped in pain and surprise, dropping the pot to the floor with a loud crash. She could only stare in shock and disbelief as the results of her hard work spilled onto the floor. The feeling of fire shooting through her scalded leg seemed distant in her mind compared to her anguish at the feeling of yet another failure.

Seconds later, to make matters worse, Shinji rushed in through the front door after hearing the noise. He had come to check if she was all right, but his concern was replaced with surprise as he saw her standing in front of a large mess on the floor. Her head was down with her bangs overshadowing her eyes making her expression look rather dark. Her body was tense with her fists in tight balls at her side. He couldn't be sure from where he was standing, but it appeared as if she was trembling. Shinji decided to deal with the situation as if approaching a dangerous animal.

"Asuka?" he questioned cautiously. "What happened in here?" 

Asuka's head shot up and she glared at him with daggers in her eyes. "Just leave me alone, Shinji!" she shouted as she ran towards the door, stepping through the puddle and pushing the confused boy out of her way.

Shinji stumbled back a few paces before regaining his balance and standing up straight. He watched as Asuka ran out the door and slammed it behind her with enough force to cause a picture frame on the adjoined wall to fall to the floor.

Shinji stared at the door wide-eyed for a few moments before turning his attention to the pot and steaming liquid spilled out all over the floor. _'She was...cooking?'_ he thought to himself in disbelief. He grabbed a mop and filled a bucket with water from one of their container jugs. Water was something of a commodity to them but the young Ikari's inclination to keep things clean had won out. As he approached the mess to clean it up, he decided whatever she had been attempting to prepare didn't smell too bad. He picked up the pot and ran a finger along the inside. He tasted what was left of Asuka's stew on his finger. 

"Hmm...Tastes pretty good," he admitted before setting the bowl in the kitchen sink and mopping the floor.

******

By this point, Shinji knew that it was better to leave Asuka alone when she was upset rather than try to cheer her up. And with the amount of noise her tantrum had caused, he knew this was one of those times. But it was getting late and she hadn't returned. The noise had long since died down and Shinji was beginning to worry. Wrapping a blanket around himself, he set off to find her. He had no idea where she'd be or even what he'd tell her when he found her, but he figured he'd cross that bridge when he got to it.

Provided she hadn't left the apartment complex entirely, Shinji assumed she was camping out in one of the other rooms for the night. _'But which one is it?'_ he thought to himself before he spotted something out of place.

"Probably the one with the television set tossed out the window..." he mumbled to himself.

Shinji cautiously approached the door. Peering in the broken window, he could see that the place was in shambles. Knocking on the door once got him no response. 

The boy tried again slightly harder.

Same results.

He tested the doorknob and found it was unlocked. He slowly opened it trying to make as little noise as possible. When the door was about half open it made a loud, screeching noise. He froze immediately. Silently cursing the door, he walked inside and closed it behind him.

The room was poorly lit and the boy had a hard time maneuvering through the knocked over bookcases, broken glass and ceramic, and toppled dead houseplants.

"Asuka?" he whispered. Again he heard no response. Shinji's concern as well as fear began to rise as he made his way through the apartment. He hoped that Asuka hadn't done something foolish like run off or hurt herself. He was also fearful that when he found her, he might share a fate similar to that of the room he was in.

"Asuka, if you're here will you please say something?" he whispered again, though much louder and more urgent this time. At that moment he heard something stirring in the bedroom. His heartbeat picked up and his palms began to sweat. "Is that you?" he asked in a low voice. There was still no answer but there was definitely something moving around in the next room. Shinji began to fear that perhaps the disaster in the room hadn't been caused by Asuka, but rather some wild animal that might have made its way inside, or worse yet, another survivor of Third Impact who could possibly be dangerous.

Shinji's breathing had gotten heavy with fear. He was trembling from more than the cold, and he could feel the blood pounding in his ears. He forced himself onward and slowly pushed the door open, silently praying that whoever or whatever was on the other side wasn't something that would harm Asuka or himself.

When the frightened teen looked inside the room, he found the perpetrator. Shinji's tense shoulders slumped; he bowed his head and sighed loudly in relief. Asuka lay sprawled on the floor in a restless slumber. Evidently she'd worn herself out. Shinji considered this to be a blessing because he was not looking forward to confronting her while she was in one of her tantrums. 

It appeared that she had started out with several heavy blankets around her, but from all her fidgeting back and forth she'd managed to kick them off. All she had left to cover her body was a loose flannel shirt and a scant pair of shorts. She was clearly having a nightmare from the pained expression on her face, and her body was shivering from the cold. He could see a burn mark on her slender leg and he could piece together how the mess in the other apartment happened. He briefly wondered why she'd tried her hand at cooking at all. It hadn't been the first time she'd tried to help out with the chores since they'd been there. It usually ended up with similar results, yet she persisted. _'Why are you trying so hard? What are you trying to prove?'_ he pondered to himself.

Shinji reached up to remove a stray lock of hair out of her face but stopped short. He found himself uncertain as to what he should do. He didn't want to wake her from her nightmare and risk facing her anger. He still couldn't bring himself to touch her, let alone lift her and carry her back to the fireplace. He'd heard stories where someone would whisper words of comfort to someone having a nightmare, and the person would relax, but Shinji didn't know how to comfort her.

As much as he had wanted to help her, now that he had the chance, he found he was unable to do so. He closed his eyes and shook his head, disgusted with himself. "I'm sorry, Asuka." He gently pulled her sheets back over her body and hoped she wouldn't kick them off again before morning. He watched her sleeping form for a moment, then turned and walked out of the room, leaving her alone with her nightmares. He paused as he exited the room, gripping the doorframe. He bowed his head, ashamed of himself for not doing more to help her. He grit his teeth and tightened his grip on the doorframe in frustration before leaving.

Making his way out of the apartment, it occurred to Shinji that this would be the first time he'd slept alone since Instrumentality. In that time he'd never once had a nightmare though he'd felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. As he thought about it, he realized that he was actually afraid to go back alone. He began to appreciate what a calming effect the simple presence of the girl had on him. Whatever their relationship may have been, it helped to know that he wasn't alone. That someone was there, even if she hated him.

Shinji sat down and leaned against the door to the room Asuka was in, pulling his blankets around him. He closed his eyes, content to listen to her breathing on the other side. _'I'm too afraid to offer her any relief from her pain, yet I use her to deal with my own. I really am just a cowardly little boy after all...' _he thought bitterly before drifting off to sleep.

He never noticed the indentations and splintered wood his fingers had left in the doorframe...

**PACIFIC****OCEAN****, 1000 KILOMERERS SOUTH OF ****JAPAN****: ****MAY 15, 2016****...**

Deep under the ocean surface, a small sea probe traveled through a massive school of red glowing entities toward a immense epicenter of blue light. All around the probe, the small light sources, flickered and twirled around one another as if they had a life of their own. If the aquatic machine had a sense of touch, it would feel the gentle warmth they generated. Their heat and radiance were a sharp contrast to the bleak, dark, biting cold of the deep around them. As they each neared the large blue illumination, they danced like fireflies around it. If the mechanical probe could appreciate such things, it would have been awed by the spectacular lightshow. But it was meant for a different purpose. It was searching...

******

However, there was someone watching who _could_ appreciate the view.

"Incredible. I never imagined anything could be so beautiful in this world," commented the enigmatic young man as he marveled at the screen before him. On display was the image being sent to him via satellite from the sea probe that had been appropriately nicknamed "Soul Searcher". 

"So the souls of humanity are separating and migrating toward Japan with Lilith. It's amazing that she's attempting to recreate the Black Moon even without a physical form." He had been carefully monitoring the activities of the souls in the ocean. Since the failed Third Impact, the souls had been preparing to return to human form. Now that they were no longer a single consciousness, but individual entities, the adolescent could search for the soul of a certain individual. 

"Pattern: Blue entity detected," sounded the supercomputer.

"Onscreen," commanded the boy. He crossed his arms as another massive blue light being was displayed, this time drifting alone in the direction of Antarctica. "Adam... You're heading back home as well," he whispered.

He leaned back in his seat and looked upwards thoughtfully at the huge triangle with seven eyes stretching across the ceiling. "It's almost time. Everything is falling into place just as you said it would..."

Continued...

A/N: I finally got another chapter out! Unbelievable! Sorry I took so long. But the way I see it, I'm only about... two and a half month behind my deadline. -_-;;;

I suppose it comes off as Shinji seeming perfectly fine and doing all the work while Asuka does nothing, but I toward the end I wanted to show that Shinji wasn't keeping it together quite as well as he may appear to be. 

Took a chapter to establish a villain. The story has the pretense of a typical post-3I fic with Shinji and Asuka learning to survive in a brave new world. But our mysterious bad guy and a few hints I'm dropping with the Children may suggest this is leading to something much bigger. 

I'd like to thank all the people who pre-read this chapter:

Red Horseman  
JoeDoeBell  
Lord Malachite  
Alnilam  
Shinagami  
Rommel  
Vicil 2000  
Chesed  
Javier Caine

I think I've got too many pre-readers... But major props go to Red Horseman and JoeDoeBell who've really given me tons of great ideas to use, as well as Javier who's been constantly inspiring me (kicking my butt) to get this story moving.

And thanks to everyone whose reviewed the story. It's been said that reviews on FFN are only one-liners that offer no real help, but I've really gotten some tremendous feedback on all the sites I've posted my work on. And not just in quantity but quality as well. So please, review any fic that you read. It's what inspires authors to write more, and what motivates them to improve.

Weltall Elite

weltall_elite@yahoo.com

/


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